Does this mean she’s gone forever?

My first born leaves for college in two days.  Not just “oh hey dad, I’m taking some classes at the local JC” college, but all the way across the fucking country college.  My feelings are mixed and many.  How the hell did this happen.  This little girl, this light of my life, this angel of mercy among a past wretched life is leaving.  Wasn’t that her blowing bubbles in the crib and just learning to stand…YESTERDAY?

The sadness is so heavy and encompassing it’s hard to crawl through and express what, beyond my selfishness, are my real, adult feelings.  She worked her ass off for years, with little to no encouragement (save the occasional “are you still doing homework”) for a long time…it paid off.  She got into an Art college and got a scholarship.  She begins her new life, Madison 2.0, on Wednesday in Washington effin DC.  I am filled with pride and relief that the stars aligned, that Karma worked, that she got what she deserved: an incredible career and personal opportunity.  It really is a dream outcome.  Why am I sad?

Go forth dear daughter, unleash your unselfish soul upon the cosmos, keep your eyes on the prize, kick ass and take no prisoners.  I’ll be here…


About Conversations With The Moon

Divorced father of two amazing young adults. College student, plodding away at a liberal arts degree. Formerly a Fire Captain and Paramedic. Dabbler in fashion. Liberal. Believer in Karma. View all posts by Conversations With The Moon

4 responses to “Does this mean she’s gone forever?

  • Joleen

    God damnit! I’m leaving for work and now you’ve made me cry! You are too cute. So fun to see a dad express those kinds of emotions. Every girl dreams of having a dad that feels that way about her. Maddy’s a lucky girl. She has so much going for her and with your support, the possibilities are endless. So exciting to watch. Have fun with the journey. It really is bittersweet. xoxo

  • Julie

    aawww this is so sweet!!! They grow up so fast it’s incrdible. This reminds me to cherish every single moment with my little ones!! It sounds like your daughter has grown up to be a bright beautiful young lady with a wonderful future ahead of her!! That being said, her leaving is a huge transition in your life also and you being sad and missing her is very understandable and normal (whatever that means 🙂

    P.S. – I have never done this blogging or twitter stuff; I am “following” you now whatever that means lol 🙂 Thats kinda creepy isn’t it?! 😉

  • Selfies Are Tough With Tears in Your Eyes… | Conversations With The Moon.

    […] two years I birthed this blog while I was on leave from work after hip replacement surgery. My first and second posts concerned the reality that my first-born was off to college. She’s now a […]

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